Guide to Living an NFL Player’s Life

Jun 26, 2013; North Attleborough, MA, USA; New England Patriots former tight end Aaron Hernandez (left) stands with his attorney Michael Fee as he is arraigned in Attleboro District Court. Hernandez is charged with first degree murder in the death of Odin Lloyd. Mandatory Credit: The Sun Chronicle/Pool Photo via USA TODAY Sports

I don’t play in the NFL. I will never play in the NFL. Heck, I’ll probably never be part of an NFL team in any capacity. But I feel in light of the Aaron Hernandez murder case that I need to get something off of my chest.

How hard can it really be to be an NFL player? Better yet, how hard is it to be a STAR player in the NFL?

You are swimming in money, you have millions of fans, and you have unlimited resources. I would have to believe a majority of these players have friends, family, even kids of their own to take care of.

So, if by some stroke of chance an NFL player happens to read this article and is at a crossroads in their life, trying to figure out what to do with all of their free time, boy have I got some advice for you.

It would take me the rest of my life to make a list of things that I would rather do than run around with a gang, hang out in bars and get wasted, or have a reason to always carry a gun. Here are some of the many things I would rather do than murder someone.

1. Spend time with family

2. Watch TV

3. Work out

4. Read

5. Drink coffee

6. Laugh

7. Go to the movies

8. Take a dump

As you can see, there are plenty of places you can get started here. If only Aaron Hernandez could go back in time, and instead of run around with the wrong crowd, maybe he could get a nice latte, pop a squat on the couch, and watch some TV with his family.

I have a wife and daughter myself, so if I had the money and resources Hernandez (who is the same age as me) has, I would absolutely love to go on a trip to Australia before training camp starts. Better yet, to avoid jet lag, I would just take a nice trip to Hawaii. No passport needed, just get on a flight with my woman and my baby girl and go.

Doesn’t that sound blissful? Pay to have an all-inclusive trip in one of the most beautiful places in the world, and just relax at a resort. No excursions, no real sight-seeing needed, just sitting around and enjoying my down time.

Alright, back to reality for a bit. I simply cannot understand what goes through the heads of some of these professional athletes. Now, it would be wrong of me to not point out that some athletes do a lot of good in this world. In fact, we should pay a lot more attention to the good that NFL players do for their communities and the people around them.

But stories like the one we are seeing unfold with Aaron Hernandez are absolutely tragic, and for whatever reason, humans are more intrigued by other humans’ shortcomings rather than their good deeds. So, we get a case like Hernandez’s and the general public is flocking to it like white on rice.

Here are some general guidelines to follow if you are a young NFL player, or a human being in general.

1. Don’t give yourself any reason to have more than one gun, and only have a gun if you feel you need protection in your own personal home.

What is the point of having more than one gun? Even if you are a hunter–a hobby I do NOT understand–I would say get a new hobby. If that offends you, I’m sorry. I probably have hobbies that offend you as well. I’m not against people having guns who are responsible with them, because people have proven over the course of time that they can handle having guns, but even if it’s for sport, can’t an NFL player find a different hobby that doesn’t involve the temptation of weapons? Take up fishing.

2. Focus on your family

There are so many NFL players who are great at this, who invest in their families, but every tragic story you hear involves a young child, it seems. If you feel like you are responsible enough to get a woman pregnant, be a man and make being a father a priority. When you have a child, your old life of running around with your friends all the time disappears. That doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy things in life when you have kids, it just means they take priority.

3. Get healthy hobbies

NFL players have unlimited access to some of the best fitness facilities in the entire world. They have the ability to spend their time working out, playing a sport, watching film, reading, and personally developing themselves. Heck, even if you feel like you can’t do anything productive, at least play video games. Maybe pick up an instrument? NFL players have more time to themselves than people know, but what they choose to fill that time with is oftentimes astonishingly stupid.

4. Why drink?

Because inevitably, someone is going to drive. If you can’t handle drinking without driving, then figure out another way to have fun. You idiot.

5. Cherish living your dream

If you’re an NFL player, you’re literally living your dream, as well as the dreams of millions of people who will never achieve that dream. Find a way or multiple ways to cherish that dream by doing things for your community and making an impact on people who look up to you. You impress people from a distance, but you impact them up close.

6. Take advantage of your money

Are you kidding me? NFL players have all the money they could ever want. Once you’ve bought yourself a nice house/car and have invested some of your money, why don’t you do something that’s actually fun? Why don’t you take your family on a trip like the one I mentioned before? Go sit courtside at the NBA finals? Catch one of the Stanley Cup Final games. Go to a major golf tournament. Head out to Wrigley Field and watch the Cubs lose, maybe you’ll even get to sing the 7th inning stretch.

There are so many things you could do for fun with the amount of money NFL players make, and they really have no excuse to not have a good time in a healthy fashion.

Final Thoughts

If you’re an NFL player, you have no reason to make colossal mistakes. Plain and simple. If you’re a player who practices these positive things regularly, I commend you. If you’re a player who is constantly found in the wrong situations, get your act together or you’ll soon find yourself behind bars and/or out of the NFL for good.