Your One Man Scuttlebutt Session

Alex Smith and the 49ers looked sharp Sunday night. Photo credit -unkown

You are now reading an article written by a man who has set his own record for the amount of football hours watched in one weekend.  And, by weekend, I mean Thursday-Monday (with MNF still to come).  I can only imagine my feat of ridiculousness pales in comparison to those more hardy and brain dead than I, but still, 30+  hours of non-stop pigskin rubbernecking have allowed me to pontificate endlessly….but, I promise to stop well before midnight Pacific Time.

My head is pounding from being plugged into my flat screen.  My eyes burn and I feel, as my niece likes to say, “like I’ve looked at Justin Bieber for too long”; though, I can only imagine we both have different translations on what staring at The Bieber does to either of us!  I get her point though, I still have that feeling of euphoria and longing….for football, that is.

The Arizona Cardinals beat up the New England Patriots at Foxboro Stadium.  When did anyone ever think that could happen? The score was close, but the Cards out physicaled them, no doubt.

The Philadelphia Eagles have 9 turnovers in 2 games and are 2-0.  Nuts, I know.

I get it, Alabama and LSU are really good, probably the best 2 teams in the country.  But, if I hear one more head case on ESPN, CBS, or any other “SEC” affiliated network tell me how much more blissfully better the SEC is over anyone, including the AFC West, I believe I might have to hurt someone (not really).  Before anyone throws a hip out jumping from their chair in defiance, I do believe the SEC is the best conference. But keep this in mine; they still have Auburn, Arkansas, Ole Miss, Miss. State, and Vandy.  Not a hot bed of good football right now.  And, South Carolina and Tennessee aren’t impressing me either.  I’ll get back to you on Florida.  Listen, all I’m saying is, despite how bad my BIG 10 is, their are some pretty good teams in the PAC 12 and Big 12.  I’m just not that afraid of the SEC once you get past the Big 2, not even Missouri or A&M.  Sorry, folks.

Hey Brandon Weeden from week 1, meet Brandon Weedon from week 2.  As a Browns fan I say we stick both versions of BW in a shed, lock the door and let week 2 beat the tar out of week 1 so he never is heard from again.

And, on that note, I declare the Cleveland Browns to be the best 0-2 team in the NFL.  No?  The Saints?  Oh, yeah……

I bought some tissues and mailed them to my man Kirk Herbstreit today.  I can only imagine he is still raining tears after his man crush, Matt Barkley, took himself out of the Heisman Race.  I feel for you Herbie, I really do man.

I know I hark on this too much, but if I could get any amount of time back from the weekend, it would be the lackluster and befuddling 5 minutes I wasted watching Grandpa Holtz and Skippy “The Pitt Kangaroo” May during their “Final Verdict” Saturday Night. Are you kidding me?  I..er..oh, hell, never mind.  I am holding myself to the promise that I will never watch that filth again.  Ahhh!

San Francisco.  That is one hell of a well coached team right there.  All the way around.  I’m jealous.

Those replacement officials?  No words are necessary…

Tim Tebow A Football Life?  Really NFL Network?  Really?  Oh, I don’t know, let me think of a few other names you might consider leading off your new series: Randy Moss, Peyton Manning, Drew Brees, Ed Reed, Troy Polamalu, Tom Brady, Eli Manning, Joe Thomas, Andre Johnson, Phillip Rivers, Aaron Rogers, Steve Smith, Adrian Peterson, just to name a few of a hundred that have actually played significant roles in their NFL careers.

I will leave you with that last little rant.  Enjoy your MNF, and have a great week.