September 22, 2012; Columbia, SC, USA; Missouri Tigers quarterback James Franklin (1) is pressured by South Carolina Gamecocks defensive end Jadeveon Clowney (7) in the second half at Williams-Brice Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Jeff Blake-USA TODAY Sports

2014 NFL Mock Draft Update: The Pick Your Team Will Not Make


In light of some recent comments I’ve received in my mock drafts, I’ve decided to do a mock draft–with no trades because every trade is unrealistic–making selections for your team that they simply will NOT be making.

Let me preface this by saying–there is absolutely NO way your team will pick these players. None of these picks makes sense, and you don’t have to worry about me making this mock draft because it’s almost surely going to be incorrect.

Let the games begin.

**All explanations are as sarcastic as can be.

1. Houston Texans: Jadeveon Clowney, DE, South Carolina

The Texans won’t be taking Clowney with the number one overall pick because he’s too lazy, and is so entitled he thinks he should be the number one pick. Plus, his athleticism and upside doesn’t mask the fact that he wasn’t able to shed enough triple teams in 2013.

2. St. Louis Rams (f/WAS):  Khalil Mack, LB, Buffalo

The Rams already have Chris Long and Robert Quinn already, so why would they take Khalil Mack? He is of no use to a defense that already gets ‘enough’ pressure on opposing QBs. Despite being the most talented senior defender in the draft, the Rams should forget about the fact that they play in one of the best divisions in football where pass rush is king.

3. Jacksonville Jaguars: Teddy Bridgewater, QB, Louisville

The Jaguars have Chad Henne already, so they’ll likely turn to another position with this pick. Bridgewater doesn’t make any sense for the Jaguars because they can simply wait until their second round pick in hopes that Jimmy G. will be there.

4. Cleveland Browns: Derek Carr, QB, Fresno State

All the talk of the Browns liking Derek Carr is probably just a smokescreen. They will probably look elsewhere with this pick.

5. Oakland Raiders: Sammy Watkins, WR, Clemson

The Raiders don’t need any playmakers offensively. Watkins is probably not enough of an upgrade over what they have to make this selection realistic.

6. Atlanta Falcons: Greg Robinson, OT, Auburn

The Falcons are already good enough in their protection of Matt Ryan, so taking the top tackle in the draft isn’t a realistic option.

7. Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Johnny Manziel, QB, Texas A&M

The Bucs signed Josh McCown, so taking the exciting former Heisman winner isn’t a legitimate possibility. Manziel may be talented but he’s a headache off the field and not worth it.

8. Minnesota Vikings: Blake Bortles, QB, Central Florida

The Vikings are not in the market for a QB this early so landing Bortles isn’t a possibility. I thought they might be a team that could trade up to get Bortles, perhaps into the top five, but I think he’ll probably be a last resort if indeed they’re able to get him.

9. Buffalo Bills: Jake Matthews, OT, Texas A&M

Cashing in on the fall of Matthews isn’t something the Bills would consider doing. He’s simply not an exciting enough pick and protecting last year’s first rounder is not of paramount importance.

10. Detroit Lions: Mike Evans, WR, Texas A&M

Mike Evans and Calvin Johnson simply could never co-exist. There is such a thing as too much size at the WR position and not enough balls to go around. Plus, this is the kind of pick Matthew Stafford would be upset with.

11. Tennessee Titans: Anthony Barr, LB, UCLA

The Titans don’t need pass rushers, so Barr makes no sense whatsoever. He has some upside and was pretty productive the past two seasons, but this could be a step backwards for them.

12. New York Giants: Aaron Donald, DT, Pittsburgh

Donald is a good interior pass rusher, and a workout warrior, but the Giants tend to stay away from those kinds of players. If not for his production at the college level, I think this would be an utter wasted pick.

13. St. Louis Rams: Taylor Lewan, OT, Michigan

Lewan is a solid athlete with good size, but you can pretty much cross him off the board at this point for St. Louis. This pick doesn’t make much sense for the Rams.

14. Chicago Bears: Justin Gilbert, CB, Oklahoma State

The Bears upgraded their defensive line in free agency, so getting some help at CB is out of the question since they also re-signed Charles Tillman. Gilbert can return kicks and punts if need be, but the Bears don’t need that since Eric Weems took a pay cut to replace Devin Hester.

15. Pittsburgh Steelers: Darqueze Dennard, CB, Michigan State

The Steelers don’t really need CBs, but Dennard is a really good player so I forced him to fit in this situation.

16. Dallas Cowboys: Ha Ha Clinton-Dix, S, Alabama

The Cowboys could upgrade at safety, but getting the best player at the position in the draft is not a good strategy.

17. Baltimore Ravens: Calvin Pryor, S, Louisville

The Ravens drafted Matt Elam last year, so there’s no chance they take a safety two years in a row.

18. New York Jets: Bradley Roby, CB, Ohio State

The Jets spent a lot of attention on offense in free agency, so they’ll likely continue to address that area in the draft and will continue to neglect the CB position, even with the loss of Antonio Cromartie.

19. Miami Dolphins: Zack Martin, OL, Notre Dame

The Dolphins’ offensive line is back in business with Branden Albert, so Martin doesn’t make any sense here but he’s the BPA.

20. Arizona Cardinals: Eric Ebron, TE, North Carolina

The Cardinals’ offense already has guys like Larry Fitzgerald and Michael Floyd, and Rob Housler is making progress so you can forget about a tight end, even one as talented as Ebron here.

21. Green Bay Packers: Weston Richburg, C, Colorado State

Losing Evan Dietrich-Smith hurts, but the Packers can take another position here and figure that out later. Even though Richburg won’t be there in the 2nd round for them (likely) they shouldn’t reach for him here. And they wouldn’t either.

22. Philadelphia Eagles: C.J. Mosley, LB, Alabama

The Eagles’ defense was good enough last year, they need to focus on replacing DeSean Jackson.

23. Kansas City Chiefs: Odell Beckham, WR, LSU

Kansas City has other holes than wide receiver so Beckham would be a reach, but he’s one of the top offensive players available so we’ll shove the square peg in the round hole.

24. Cincinnati Bengals: Dee Ford, DE, Auburn

The Bengals lost Michael Johnson, but their pass rush should still be fine. Ford won’t be picked here.

25. San Diego Chargers: Kyle Fuller, CB, Virginia Tech

The Chargers don’t really need a cornerback with this pick, so Fuller doesn’t make a lot of sense. Plus, he’s a bigger and more physical corner that is being overrated at this point.

26. Cleveland Browns (f/IND): Marqise Lee, WR, USC

Marqise Lee is destined to bust in the NFL because of his decline last year at USC with a new QB. He’d be a waste of a pick for the Browns.

27. New Orleans Saints: Demarcus Lawrence, DE/LB, Boise State

Lawrence is a rising pass rusher, but the Saints don’t need OLBs right now.

28. Carolina Panthers: Brandin Cooks, WR, Oregon State

The Panthers aren’t taking a receiver in round one, even if one like Cooks falls. He makes no sense at this point.

29. New England Patriots: Ra’Shede Hageman, DL, Minnesota

Why would the Patriots take a talented defensive lineman here? Hageman has upside but there’s no reason for the Patriots to think he can contribute now or down the road.

30. San Francisco 49ers: Kony Ealy, DE, Missouri

The Niners made a mistake with Aldon Smith, so Kony Ealy certainly won’t be the pick since they came from the same school. They are basically the same person.

31. Denver Broncos: Donte Moncrief, WR, Ole Miss

The Broncos lost Eric Decker, and don’t need a long term replacement. Moncrief is on the rise, sure, but his size/speed/route running abilities would be better off on a team in the early stages of the 2nd round.

32. Seattle Seahawks: Morgan Moses, OT, Virginia

The Seahawks can shore up right tackle later. Moses is big and would fit their scheme, but he’s too boring a pick for the flashy Super Bowl champs.

Tags: 2014 Nfl Draft 2014 Nfl Mock Draft Arizona Cardinals Atlanta Falcons Baltimore Ravens Buffalo Bills Carolina Panthers Chicago Bears Cincinnati Bengals Cleveland Browns Dallas Cowboys Denver Broncos Detroit Lions Featured Green Bay Packers Houston Texans Indianapolis Colts Jacksonville Jaguars Kansas City Chiefs Miami Dolphins Minnesota Vikings New England Patriots New Orleans Saints New York Giants New York Jets Oakland Raiders Philadelphia Eagles Pittsburgh Steelers Popular San Diego Chargers San Francisco 49ers Seattle Seahawks St. Louis Rams Tampa Bay Buccaneers Tennessee Titans Washington Redskins

  • Guido

    This just proves my theory that there should be a test to be able to post on the Internet.

    • SayreBedinger

      Why is that?

    • Ross

      Guido…your post proves your own theory that there should be a test. Read the intro….then read it again. Then think about it. Then read it again. Then comprehend it and actually understand this article.

      • Guido

        I understand it. I get the point. You think your funny. Blah blah blah. Not sure what gives such amazing insight on what picks teams won’t make. It’s a pointless article. Just like every other mock draft article. If I could keep this garbage from showing up on my feed I would. But I can’t so I’m stuck with waste of space crap poorly written with terrible sarcasm…

        • Ross

          The sarcasm is in the fact that it really is his mock draft. These are picks that he thinks the teams SHOULD make. Make sure you know what you’re talking about before you post….dunce

        • Ross

          Also it’s you’re. As in you think you are funny. Just because this is the internet doesn’t mean there should be anarchy in the way of grammar!

  • micah

    This whole thing is stupid. Hell how do you think they don’t need a corner with this pick, and the only way I see fuller as overatted because he was always injured in colledge but he was a good.

    • SayreBedinger

      You need to read the fine print.

    • Panther Hines

      Possibly the worst comment I’ve ever read

      • cjhowardo

        The incorrect spelling of the word college was both funny and ironic. If it had been on purpose I would call him brilliant.

        • Phillip

          Wow, that make you feel big?? You grammar patrol?? You do realize its highly likely he was on a cell phone n had a typo right??

          • cjhowardo

            I do feel pretty good. My job title is “Internet Grammar Police Guy”, so mission accomplished. Your post also warrants a few citations, but I don’t want you to get upset and make a mess is your big boy pants.

          • Phillip

            Nah, go ahead main, wouldn’t wanna ruin ur day by lettin me git away, do what ya gotta do 2 make urself feel betta bout dat pathetic existence u call a life. I made sur there r plenty of mistakes here 4 u to git u off 4 a while, gonna need 2 change ur little girl panties 5 times by da time u finish reading dis, ur gonna give ur mom a heart attack when she does ur laundry afta reading dis.

          • SayreBedinger

            Cell phones auto-correct.

          • Phillip

            No, not all cell phones do auto correct.

      • Jacob1999

        Chill out, he probably just didn’t see the beginning.

        *All punctuation and grammar is correct.

        basic st-ttistics

  • Nevin Paustian

    I agree that GB won’t take a center early on. A lot of analyst have them picking a center in one of the first 3 rounds. I just don’t see that happening. I think that they have a lot of confidence in Tretter because if they didn’t then they would have made more of an attempt to re-sign EDS. With that said…I do think that they may draft a center, but not until a later round. My guess would be Tyler Larsen from Utah State in either the 5th or 6th round.

    • SayreBedinger

      I think taking a center early is a legit option for GB and I think Richburg is a legit 1st round possibility for a few teams.

      • Phillip

        I hope you’re being sarcatic in saying that. You really believe Ted Thompson would let a C of EDS caliber walk without a current plan on the roster to take over?? Especially for a deal with no guaranteed money. There’s no way Ted Thompson let EDS walk with the plan to try n fill the position through the draft, it’d just make absolutely no sense to add another position of immediate need, especially with our D needing so much work. And then to consider passing on Mosley, a guy who could bring some major impact to draft a 1st round C is extremely laughable. Tretter will have his opportunity, he’s the reason EDS was expendable, just like Boykin was what made Jones expendable.. Theres far more value and higher need other than C at 21.

        • SayreBedinger

          Mid-round picks don’t always work out.

          • Nevin Paustian

            Yeah…that is true, but try telling that to EDS, Josh Sitton, TJ Lang, Don Barclay, and David Bahkitiari. All are offensive linemen either picked mid to undrafted by GB and all have worked out well. You also have to consider the fact that GB also have both Bulaga and Sherrod coming back from injury. I would not be surprised if they would slide Barclay over to center if need be. Plus…they have only met with o-linemen that are projected to be taken in later rounds in the upcoming draft. Ted will draft tackles in early rounds not guards/centers and he won’t be drafting any o-linemen this year until 4th round or later.

  • SDAZT.STEEL66

    I’m sure that most Steelers fans don’t have a problem with the team adding a cornerback early. Some however feel that Dennard’s lack of agility, stiff hips, ‘grabbiness’ downfield and lack of straight-line speed will cost him at the next level and not make him a viable pick as other cornerbacks at #15 overall or on the second day of the draft who have the potential to be just as, if not more talented, or better scheme-fits than Dennard.

    Might I remind you that this team has pressing needs at WR, TE and could have one at OLB if Jason Worilds isn’t inked to a long-term deal by the time the regular season begins. Other than that, well played.

    • SayreBedinger

      I agree the Steelers have other needs, but Dennard to me was arguably the best player on the best D in college football this past year. He’d be a great pickup for them.

      • SDAZT.STEEL66

        Michigan State played fantastic team-defense last fall, and their front-seven and their ability to stuff the run & put pressure on opposing signal-callers was a huge reason behind their success. Dennard & the “No-Fly Zone” greatly benefited from their play up front. Moreover, it was their issues in the secondary, notably Dennard’s, which led to their only loss last season against Notre Dame.

        Dennard in round two, I’d be on board with that. But I’d much rather see Verrett, Roby, Fuller, Watkins or even a poor scheme-fit guy like Gilbert picked before him.

  • Rees Britton

    I love it, good stuff!

    • SayreBedinger

      Thanks!

  • Rick Talley

    That some people didn’t get the point of this draft, makes me certain there isn’t much time left for Homo sapiens!

    • SayreBedinger

      Right you are Rick!

  • Al_Uno

    I think more mocks should be sarcastic. its more entertaining. The Raiders need a big play maker at any position they can get.
    I would love for it to be Watkins, or Evens..

  • 65yt

    I think Lovie actually does like Manzy, as per all the Fansided articles lately. But I dont think he will be available at #7. I think Bucs are looking watkins or Linemen. Good article though. Mock drafts are driving me nuts.

  • d_blitz13

    umm if you have to TELL someone your being sarcastic… .your not any good at it.

    • SayreBedinger

      Hey d_blitz13, let me help you quick with something before I respond. It’s ‘you’re’ not ‘your’ first and foremost, and second, you obviously didn’t read any of the other comments, including the first one.

      • d_blitz13

        Omg your one of “those guys”… you can keep you grammar tips to yourself.. its the internet idiot, not a classroom. I took good care to use proper sentence structure on my second masters thesis, I dont need to act all high and mighty commenting on a internet forum… short man syndrome or something i guess. get a life.

        • SayreBedinger

          You’re the one commenting on a mock draft with bad grammar, not me.

  • gdubb

    Most of this makes sense

  • David

    The Cowboys could use an upgrade at safety??? Every safety on thier roster is average or horrible with mostly horrible. So why would Dix not be a good pick??

    • SayreBedinger

      Check the fine print, David.

  • Piggly Winks

    crackheads… the Bucs take a WR if Evans or Watkins are there.

    • SayreBedinger

      Yeah I know, right?

  • Rees Britton

    Why isn’t Derek Carr rated as high if not higher than the big 3 QB’s?
    Seriously, his mechanics are absolutely amazing, he has a great arm, reads defenses, and he can move a little… Is it because he is ugly?
    Seemed like a question right up your alley;)

    • SayreBedinger

      I like Carr personally. I think he reminds me of Jay Cutler. I’d be happy if my team used a top 10 pick on him.

  • Mike Mittleberger

    I hope the Raiders trade down to 15-20. Get an extra 2nd rd pick. Then take WR Brandin Cooks with their 1st rd pick. Great hands n knows how to run routes & yards after the catch with his speed.

  • afannaz

    aldon smith and kony ealy went to the same school, so automatically they’re the same problem player? maybe that’s not what the author meant, i hope. is ealy already a problem player/person?

  • Dewight Mitchell

    there is a Rumor that the Bucs Would Draft Blake Bortles at No. 7