It’s almost here.
The 2013 NFL regular season is now less than a week away, and the pre-season officially concluded on Thursday night. That means, in all likelihood, that you either have a fantasy football team or are soon to draft one.
I don’t know about you, but something I struggle with is coming up with a clever name every year. I’ve heard some pretty good ones, and there are some that are only NFL-team specific that your league members probably wouldn’t understand, but you want to bring it with a creative fantasy name every year.
You don’t want to be that guy who is just “Team Gary” or “Team Williams”. What a boring player. Probably won’t even check his roster after five weeks either.
No, naming your fantasy football team is something you should take pride in, which is why I’m here to give you some guidance for strategies and suggestions.
Step One: Find NFL Players With Hilarious Names
Gronkowski? Hilarious. Brady? Not so much. Giving your team a name like “The Brady Bunch” is a good one for a rookie or someone who wants a courtesy laugh, but how about this instead…
The Badonkagronks. Yep, one of my buddies came up with that name for a league we are in, and it got the whole place buzzing.
If you’re going to use an NFL player’s name as the basis for your team name, it’s gotta be funny and the more syllables, the funnier.
Sticking with the Patriots theme here, here is another good, solid example for a team name: Medula Amendola.
Once you find the hilarious name, let your creativity take over.
Step Two: Sexual Inuendo
Always gets a laugh on draft night and anytime someone plays against you.
“Wilfork on the First Date”
“Show me Your TDs”
All of those are classic and appropriate sexual innuendo–for a league full of dudes. Show me your TDs is probably not going to fly if you’re playing with the ladies, so use proper judgment and make sure the comedy is enjoyable for all.
Step Three: Awful Players/NFL Busts
If you name your team after a guy like Mark Sanchez, JaMarcus Russell, or Ryan Leaf, chances are, you’ll get a laugh. Of course, it’s better if your team is good to have a bad player representing you every week.
If you name your team “The Sanchize” and then you stink, well, it loses its flair.
If you name your team after JaMarcus Russell and WIN, you’re sure to be respected that much more.
Step Four: Movie Villains
This is a strategy I have fully bought into, especially for comedy villains. Almost all of my team names are named after hilarious movie villains. For example:
Those people/characters are always funny, and pretty clever as well (if I do say so myself).
Step Five: The Douchy Team Names
If you want to be that guy, go right ahead. You can’t use names that have been used a million times, but guys will do it like no one’s ever heard of them before.
“Somewhere over Dwayne Bowe”
“All Day 2K” (hasn’t been relevant for years)
Just, just don’t be that guy/gal.
Step Six: The Low Blow
This is a great strategy, and always good for a laugh. Right now, any team name involving a joke about Aaron Hernandez is particularly dark, but funny.
“The Hernandez Hit Men”
Ouch, but you’re cracking a smile I know it.
“Big Ben’s 99 Problems”
“Rolando McClain Mugshots”
If you’re going for the low blow, make sure everyone knows what it means. You don’t want to have to explain your team name.
Step Seven: Generally Hilarious
“Mr. UGG Boots”
“Cry Me a Rivers”
“Suh Girls, One Cup” (yikes).
Really, anything funny will do. Think of the greatest animal in the world, and put them into a very odd situation. It’s great.
“Hump Day Heroes”
So there you have it. You are now armed and ready to name your fantasy football team.